2011年7月20日 星期三

成為兒女的朋友

作為成年子女的父母,唯一能夠增進親子關係的方法是從既存的「期待」之外來處理它。換句話說,你的兒子或女兒對你已有一個固定的觀點,他或她從這個觀點來理解你,你可能也在做同樣的事情,但是,你可以超越那一貫的風格而去理解你的孩子,就好像你剛剛遇見他或她;這彷彿是你把兒女當作是他人而初次相遇,兒女亦然。如是你們兩位碰面了, 並且成為朋友。

摘自香巴拉出版社編輯 Mrs. Carolyn Rose Gimian 編輯的邱陽創巴仁波切新書《工作、性、與金錢——在注念之道上的現實生活》(Work, Sex, Money - Real Life on the Path of Mindfulness)家庭業力之一章,英文原著第140頁


Becoming Friends with Your Child

As a parent of an adult child, the only way to work with the relationship is to approach it outside of already existing expectations. In other words, your son or daughter has a certain fixed idea of you, and he or she will approach you from that view, and you probably do the same thing. However, you can approach your child from beyond that usual style, outside of that style, as though you had just met him or her. It would be as though you were meeting her for the first time, as somebody else, or she met you as somebody else. The two of you meet and become friends.

From “Family Karma,” in Work, Sex, and Money: Real Life on the Path of Mindfulness, page 140

2 則留言:

Unknown 提到...

《工作、性、與金錢——在注念之道上的現實生活》---甚麼時候會出中文版的呢?好期待喔!謝謝^^

Yeachin Tsai/ 蔡雅琴 提到...

是啊,我也期待台灣的出版社加把勁、儘快爭取到翻譯版本的可能性呢。這真是一本對生活與生命有確實幫助的好書!